Peace Of Mind
by kirarakat55
Summary: Inuyasha finally confronts the only person that can hold him back. I do not own any of the characters nor the song. They belong to their rightful owners. 'Outa my Face' Saving Abel Inuyasha-Rumiko Takahashi


Peace of Mind

Inuyasha sat high in the boughs of the Goshinboku tree, waiting for Kagome to come back from her time. She had tried to get him to go with her, but he was waiting for someone. Someone that would be his undoing. Someone that could make his heart flutter with one look. But this time he was waiting for a different reason. Coming up with a perfect excuse, of gathering firewood for the village, Inuyasha declined a trip through the time vortex.

She had only been gone a day when the first visitation occurred. He knew Kagome would be beyond peeved if she found out he was hoping to see Kikyou tonight, but it was something he had to do. The two timing had gone on long enough. Hadn't it? After unsuccessfully steeling his nerve, Inuyasha closed his eyes and thought of the possible outcome. Really it could one of two ways. He could be bound by his long, but not forgotten, promise, and go to hell with the first woman he ever loved. On the other hand, they could cut all ties and he could finally be happy with the woman who stole his heart completely. And without her he would have nothing to live for, hell would be the next best thing.

Struggling with all composure Inuyasha leapt from the high branch he was perched, and began pacing the soft earth at the base of the old tree. Kikyou and the outcome of such almost cruel and hateful thing engrossed his mind, threatening to bring tears. Tears of frustration? Or of sadness? In all honesty, it didn't matter, at least not any more. His decision was made, and he expected himself to pull through.

He smelt her before he saw her Shinidamachu swooping above, signaling him. The horrid stench of graveyard soil hung in the evening air creating a barrier within itself. No matter how fast he moved through the forest dubiously named for him, he could not out run the ghastly smell.

Stopping just before the clearing that was hidden deep within the forest, Inuyasha steeled his nerves. It would do absolutely no good to back out now. Firming his jaw and straightening his shoulders Inuyasha made his way past the dense trees to stand before the undead miko, his first love, his Kikyou.

There she stood in the familiar red and white priestess garb, her dark hair tied in its loose ponytail. Her eyes once full of life now stared at him with hollow hatred. She was dead he constantly reminded himself. Not only is she dead she was also driven by hatred, revenge.

_Unlike Kagome who loves you for what you are - a hanyou. Kikyou wanted you human. She could not love you for who you are, she wanted to change you. _Shaking the well-known thoughts from his head, he continued his trek through the wild flowers swayed beneath the gentle breeze of the evening wind.

"Kikyou." he regarded solemnly. When did his life become this? When had he given up on all hopes of being reunited with the first woman he truly loved? He knew when, he knew exactly when and he was reminded every day of it. When he sees the sparkling eyes of his beloved Kagome, he remembers it vividly. _We were destined to meet. To fall in love. To be together. _"What do you want from me Kikyou?"

She did not respond. All she did was regard him with anger-filled eyes. She was a force to be reckoned with and here he was pushing all hope he had of her not dragging him to hell. After several moments of silence, Inuyasha pressed matters further.

"Kikyou, I ... I have..." Lowering his eyes, he did not know how to tell her he chose another: A warm living, breathing woman, who loved him truly, deeply. Tired of fighting for the nerve, "I have chosen Kagome," he blurted, causing her dead eyes to widen a bit in surprise.

"So it is true. You do love that strange girl more than Me." her tone cold, and indifferent. "I should have known. Demons and hanyou alike are incapable of keeping their promises."

The words hurt more than he thought they would. Growing up scared and alone he learned never to trust, but when he met her, a shrine 

priestess, he promised to protect her, even though he never trusted her completely. Over time, she earned a bit more of his trust but in the end, their fear of trust brought them great sadness. "I know Kikyou, I have failed you. I let you die, if I had only arrived on time maybe this would have never happened." He looked down at the ground. Her impassive features bothered him. Why? He was unsure. Maybe it was because her face used to light up when he was around.

"Did you claim her?"

"Huh, what are you talking about?" His heart fluttered at the blunt question. No. No, he had not claimed her, at least not yet. And until this whole thing with Kikyou was laid to rest, he would not.

"You know very well what I am implying, Inuyasha! But seeing as how you are playing dumb, a trick she taught you no doubt, I will put it simply. Have you made her your mate? You know the thing you promised me 50 years ago."

To say Inuyasha was aghast was an understatement. He was beyond horrified, he was hurt. It actually hurt him to hear her say those things. In all honesty, he could not remember promising to make her his mate. Hell then he did not even think he wanted a mate. Not until Kagome came into his life.

_Kagome. Please forgive me._ Though he had not done anything wrong with the woman before him, he still felt like he was betraying the woman who went back to her own time. The saddest part was that he knew she would forgive him... she always did.

Averting his eyes Inuyasha stared at the ground before answering, "No Kikyou I have not claimed her." _At least not yet. _Why couldn't he just tell her that his soul claimed her? Whether they made it official or not.

"What makes you think she even wants that? You are just a half-breed." Her sneer was matched by his as their eyes met. Gold and brown clashed in a torrent of emotions.

"Fuck you! At least she doesn't just love half of me, unlike you."

"You're right I wanted you to be human, so I could be a real woman. I wanted it because demons are hard to trust and harder to love. You were no different. You were elusive, cold, and surly. You did not trust anyone or anything. You thought everyone was out to get you."

_**I'm not the man you want of me  
I'm not the same I used to be  
I think for myself now  
I don't need you in my ear  
I'd love to hit you in the face  
I'd love to know you've gone away  
I don't wanna see you again  
I hope you can understand me **_

His anger was growing with every word that rolled off her tongue. Was she mocking him? Calling him out on problems of the past? Clenching his fists, he fought the urge to hit her, to make her stop. But he couldn't. He could not bring himself to sink to her level. Dead or not.

_**Get out of my face  
Get out of my sight  
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind  
I don't understand why you think you  
Can do the things you can't**__  
_

Over the past year, she invaded his every thought his every dream. And soon they became a hindrance to any hope of moving on. She was a plague on his mind and everyone around him knew it. Sooner or later, she would be his downfall.

_**So get out of my face  
Get out of my sight  
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind  
My piece of mind **_

"Kikyou, it's over. I can't keep hanging on to something that was there long ago," he said, keeping his tone stern and his face impassive. "I promised you I would protect you, but it gets harder and harder to do so when you betray me with every turn. On more occasions than I care to count, you sided with Naraku, and that was a knife to my very heart. I have to let you go. Because what we used to have died when you did."

_**You're so mad 'cause you're losing control  
You don't know which way is safe to go  
Everything is so fake  
I don't know what else to say  
You'll see somehow someday  
Some way you'll see believe me**_

"Ha you think I will let it go that easily. You promised me your soul Inuyasha. You said we would go to hell together. I intend to hold you to that promise. After all this whole thing is your fault."

_**Get out of my face  
Get out of my sight  
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind  
I don't understand why you think you  
Can do the things you can't**_

_My fault?_ Who was she kidding? Her death was a result of their lack of trust in one another. It was not his burden to carry alone. Nor would he. 

He would make her see that she could no longer control him. He was through with her, with the whole situation.

"Kikyou, I said it is **OVER!** Now leave me alone and let me live my life."

_**So get out of my face  
Get out of my sight  
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind  
My piece of mind**_

"And what life would that be?" Kikyou asked. She was pissed and Inuyasha could care less. It was over as far as he was concerned, and no matter he would leave the clearing with a since of pride. He would leave and look for the woman he knew he did not deserve, and give her his heart.

_**Get out of my face  
Get out of my sight  
Get out of my head**_

"A life without you! I will live my life of love and acceptance with no qualms of who or what I am. That life, Kikyou." He smirked, when he saw her eyes widen. Finally, he won a battle.

Turning his back to the undead miko, Inuyasha headed out of the clearing, toward the well. Never looking back, he did not see the look of defeat cross Kikyou's face and for the first time his heart danced. _I'm coming Kagome. Please wait for me. _

Jumping into the nearest tree, Inuyasha leaped from branch to branch until he was back at the Goshinboku. Landing on the soft earth, he walked the rest of the way to the well, lost in his thoughts.

_I am finally free._

_**Bring me back my piece of mind **_

He arrived just in time to see a familiar yellow backpack thrown over the lip of the well. _Kagome._ With inhuman speed, he was at the well offering his hand.

When she took his hand, he pulled out the raven-haired beauty of his dreams, pulling her to him.

He felt her stiffen under his grasp. Murmuring words of reassurance, she relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist. Releasing her, he grabbed her hand, led her to the sacred tree and jumped onto one of the high branches.

Gripping her tight, he lowered them both onto the branch and together they watched the sunset over the horizon.

"I saw Kikyou today." Inuyasha said contritely. Gripping her tighter, he squeezed his eyes shut. He would be lucky not to be sat half way to hell. Not giving her the chance to speak her displeasure Inuyasha continued. "I told her I would not go to hell with her."

"Inuyasha," Kagome said, exhaling the breath she was holding. She could not discern what exactly he meant by that. But she knew it had to be good.

Kagome carefully turned her body to face 'her' hanyou and draped her legs over his. "What do you mean, you chose me?" Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, her face placid and impassive. _A defense mechanism. _

"Kagome, it means I want you as my mate… if you will have me that is." He mumbled the last part, as he was not sure of her desires. But when a smile spread across her lovely face, he knew her answer.

"Yes!" her scream sent a nearby flock of birds into flight frenzy. "Yes," this time her words were softer, quieter, and tearful.

"Kagome are you sure. Inu youkai mate for life, once it is complete we are bound until death."

Placing a small trembling hand on his cheek she smiled, "Of course I want to be your mate." Reaching forward with a trembling hand, she cupped his cheek. "I love you Inuyasha," with that, she leaned in and placed her lips to his.

The kiss though gentle, poured with her desire to be near him. And in that moment, Inuyasha believed he could really fly. Pulling back, he broke the tender kiss, gazed into the eyes of the woman he loved. "I love you too…My Kagome."


End file.
